One of my biggest trepidations about going travelling, especially to Thailand where I am now, was my body.
I’ve spoken previously on the blog about rejecting the media’s portrayal of the perfect female form, and I do stand by that. It’s just hard to wash away 20 years of body neuroses in an instant.
I went travelling right after Xmas. With the Christmas weight of a girl who knew she wouldn’t be home for a long time. I honestly thought I’d lose weight in India due to Delhi belly but sadly/gladly the food was so tremendous I gained weight! Even a bad case of food poisoning didn’t make a dent in my behind.
And so the time came to shed the layers and get into beach life in Thailand. Honestly the first time I put in a bikini I had a nervy spasm. You know when you look at your body and think ‘who even is that?’.
Inevitably when you’re in a tropical paradise there will be beautiful lithe women who make you feel inferior, but, like what was I gonna do? Never swim? It’s 37 degrees.
So really the fact that I’m sweaty mess helped me get over my bikini-fear. And I noticed that no one is really looking at my body. There are so many half naked people around and when you analyse each body, they’re kinda all the same. All beautiful, and the variations are so minimal when you really think about it. Especially with beachy waves and sunkissed skin.
For the past 3 weeks I have been living in a bikini – often cursing my belly or thighs for not conforming- but more often just enjoying salt water on my skin and the fact I’m in paradise.
So to anyone nervous about getting that beach body. Fuck it, you’re on the beach, that’s your beach body.